Leaping Lizard Cosplay

By Leaping Lizard Cosplay

Hi, I’m Liz—also known as Leaping Lizard Cosplay—and today, I want to talk about something real. Something tender. Something that many content creators quietly carry… but rarely speak about.

🌈 This article is part of my Cositivity series—a collection of honest, heartfelt reflections on the messy, meaningful, and magical sides of cosplay and content creation. It’s not just about wigs and hot glue—it’s about community care, emotional boundaries, and protecting our joy while we share our passions. 💖🦎

Today’s topic? Trauma dumping, parasocial relationships, and the unseen emotional labor creators face in online spaces.

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🧠 Parasocial Relationships: What Are They?

A parasocial relationship is a one-sided emotional connection formed with someone—usually a public figure or content creator—where the viewer feels a sense of closeness… even if the creator doesn’t know them personally.

It’s totally normal. In fact, I’ve got a small, irrational emotional attachment to a few creators myself. We all have our people.

But here’s the tricky part: That relationship isn’t mutual.

You might feel like you know the creator. You might really care about them. But they may not be equipped—or obligated—to carry your emotional burdens in return.

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💬 What Is Trauma Dumping?

Trauma dumping is when someone shares deeply personal, often traumatic experiences without warning, without consent, and without checking if the other person has the capacity to hold it.

It’s like dropping a 50lb trauma backpack on someone mid-Mario Kart. They’re trying to dodge banana peels, not emotional landmines.

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🗣️ Note from Liz:

I know I talk openly about my past trauma, disabilities, and medical journey—but I want to be clear:
👉 I’m not trauma dumping on my audience.

What I share is intentional. It’s framed with care, part of storytelling and advocacy. I don’t drop unprocessed pain on strangers. That’s the difference. You are free to not engage.

• One is vulnerability with boundaries.
• The other is an emotional cry for help dropped into a space that isn’t ready.

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🧨 Why I Almost Quit

I’ve almost quit content creation more than once—because of trauma dumps and parasocial oversteps that left me shaken, exhausted, and scared.

I’m not just a cosplay content creator. I’m also a survivor of the three types of abuse. IFKYK. I don’t talk about my childhood often, but it’s part of why I have so much empathy. In college, I trained and served as a victim advocate in a domestic abuse shelter. I listened to women return again and again to dangerous situations, blaming themselves. These were people who had been programmed to believe they deserved the pain. That work helped me heal my own trauma—and it gave me tools to help others. But even with that training, trauma dumps online hit different. I wasn’t in a support center. I was in costume. On camera. Trying to bring joy to a community I love.

I’d be mid-stream—happy, laughing, sharing something light—and someone would drop something devastating in the chat:

• “My pet passed away…”
• “I was SA’ed last week.”
• “I want to ‘unalive’ myself.”
• “You’re the only one I can talk to.”
• “I’m suffering from *insert medical issue*.”

And suddenly… the energy dies. The vibe shifts. Everyone watching tenses up. And I’m the one left holding it, live, on camera, with my own trauma pinging like an air raid siren in my head.

There was no warning. No check-in. Just a heavy truth dropped into the chat—without considering if I, or anyone else watching, had the capacity to hold it.

• How do you not respond to that?
• How do you keep smiling?
• How do you not look like a cold-hearted asshole?

Spoiler: You can’t win in that moment.

If I acknowledge it and dive in, the whole stream spirals. If I don’t, I feel cruel. And either way, I carry the weight of it long after the stream ends. And the worst part? I can’t be happy when someone who’s directly talking to me is hurting. I’m too empathetic. I feel it. I internalize it. And I can’t just switch that off.

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💥 How Trauma Dumping Can Hurt the Sharer

Trauma dumping can unintentionally reopen old wounds—both for the person sharing and those listening—especially if the trauma hasn’t been fully processed.

While trauma dumping is often unintentional and driven by pain, it can end up hurting the person who’s doing the dumping too:

• It may reinforce emotional dysregulation – Sharing in an unstructured way can escalate distress instead of easing it.
• It can damage relationships – People may feel overwhelmed and back away, leading to even more isolation.
• It creates a false sense of relief – Venting without real processing might feel good in the moment, but deeper issues stay unresolved.
• It can trigger shame afterward – Some people regret oversharing, which compounds negative emotions.
• It may reinforce helplessness – Relying only on venting without healthy support can keep someone feeling stuck.

Talking about trauma can be healing—but timing, consent, and context matter. Processing through trusted support systems or therapy allows for true growth and healing.

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🥄 Spoon Theory & Burnout: Creators Are Not Emotional Bottomless Pits

Let’s talk spoons. 🥄

Spoon Theory is a metaphor for energy and capacity. You start each day with a limited number of spoons. Every task—getting dressed, filming, answering messages—costs a spoon.

Now imagine someone trauma dumps mid-livestream. That’s like someone grabbing five spoons from your hand without warning. You weren’t ready. You didn’t consent. And now you’re left triggered and spiraling—but expected to smile through it. For creators with trauma, illness, or people-pleaser tendencies, this is a fast track to burnout.

💔 Burnout Looks Like:

• Losing joy in your art
• Dreading your next post
• Ghosting your own audience
• Crying after every stream
• Considering deleting everything

And yeah… I’ve been there.

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🧠 Why People Trauma Dump (with Empathy)

Most people who trauma dump aren’t malicious. They’re hurting, overwhelmed, or alone—and they reach out the only way they know how.

As someone who worked in a domestic abuse shelter, I’ve seen this firsthand: People returning again and again, not knowing they deserved better. People so consumed by shame that they spill everything, anywhere, to anyone who might listen.

They:

• Be seeking validation
• Lack healthy coping tools
• Carry unprocessed trauma
• Struggle with boundaries and not realize the setting isn’t appropriate
• Feel isolated and unsure where else to turn
• Be emotionally dysregulated
• Lack a safe space to open up

I understand—truly. When I worked in a domestic abuse shelter, I was there on purpose. I had training. I had support. I had signed up to carry some of that weight. And it was some of the most meaningful, rewarding work I’ve ever done.

But as creators online? We’re not therapists. We’re not equipped. And many of us are carrying our own trauma, too.

Dumping heavy, unresolved pain onto content creators—especially those with lived trauma of their own—isn’t fair. It can re-trigger us. It drains us. It takes spoons we didn’t agree to give.

And just because I have that training, doesn’t mean I signed up for it 24/7.

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🧭 What to Do Instead (If You’re the One Struggling)

If you’re struggling and feel like you need to unload something heavy:

✅ Try These First:

• 🗨️ Ask for consent:
  “Hey, I’ve been going through something—can I talk to you about it?”
• ✍️ Journal your thoughts
• 📞 Call a friend or hotline
• 🧘 Share with the right person, at the right time
• ⏳ Avoid live chats or public forums for trauma conversations

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🗨️ What to Say (If You’re a Creator in the Moment)

Kind, clear ways to redirect trauma dumps without guilt:

💻 On stream:

“Hey friend, that sounds really serious—and I care—but I’m not equipped to help with that here. Please reach out to a crisis line or trusted support system.”

📥 In DMs or comments:

“I want to honor what you’re going through, but this space isn’t meant for trauma processing. I encourage you to reach out to a professional who can support you better than I can.”

🎤 At cons or in person:

“That’s a really big thing to share—I hope you have someone safe to talk to about it. I’m not the right person, but I believe in your healing.”

🤖 Auto-response:

“Hey there! I see you’re going through something tough. I’m not able to offer emotional support, but I do care. Here are some resources that might help: [insert link]”

Saying no with care isn’t rejection. It’s redirection toward healing.

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📞 Free Therapy Resources, Hotlines & Support

You are never alone. There are places built to help you. Please save or share these.

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🌿 Final Thoughts

I know how it feels to want someone—anyone—to understand. I’ve lived through hell and clawed my way out. I’ve built safe spaces, only to be knocked down by someone else’s pain I couldn’t carry. But I’m still here. Still making. Still hopeful.

The reason I create content is simple:
To entertain. To share my love of escapism through cosplay. To bring positivity and a little bit of weird, goofy joy into the world. 💫

I truly love connecting with people and learning their stories—but I also struggle sometimes to explain how to do that safely. I don’t know if I’m the one who doesn’t know how to people… or if other folks don’t. Maybe it’s both. But if nothing else, take this article as my attempt to start the conversation.

Creators: Protect your peace. Speak your truth, but don’t bleed for applause.
Viewers: Love your creators—don’t unload on them. Respect the limits of that screen.

We are all worthy of healing. But no one should have to burn out to prove it.

💖🦎

And lastly, with that all said… I have opened a space for you to ask me anything! Got a question for me about content creation or need some advice? You can remain completely anonymous.

📬 Fill out the form on my contact page here: https://leapinglizardcosplay.com/contact-me/